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You know you've made it to local quasi-celeb status when you're the subject of a car-dealership promotion.

Starting today, Teape (pronounced "tape") Subaru in Hurst and Arlington, Texas, will be offering a free copy of Weird Texas, signed by me, with the purchase of a vehicle. Really, what better way to break in your new car than by visiting Cadillac Ranch or the Beer Can House?

What's more — get this — between now and Sept. 4, you can enter to win a date with yours truly! (No purchase necessary.) OK, it's technically just dinner for two, plus me, so it's not really a date. But who knows? We'll see how things go.

Now then, who needs me to host some TV commercials for their discount electronics?